Transitional Fossil

" The question isn't "who is going to let me"; it's "who is going to stop me".
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Small Square

And so there I was looking out the window and just letting go of it all. I just let go. I cried and cried. I cried for the next two hours. I had hurt someone I love very, very much. I cried for that. I cried for my mother who still can;t make ends meet at age 52. I cried for people who had less than me. I cried for people who had more than me. And I cried some more. I have never cried so much in my life. I pealed away all these bullshit layers of rtationalization. I ripped the blankets off and it was cold.

So here we are in the wild of it all and trying to find what we want to do with our life, meaning mine.
What is right.
What is wrong.
Why do peple still insist on saying, "NOT".

I am moving in my existence. This is a new direction. I am challenging myself to become better than I am to be whom I should be. It is difficult for me to be this way. It hurts and just because I was raised a certain way, that was not good for me, doesn't me I have to live that way.

There is so,much going on that I cannot possibly write it all. Nor do I wish to. Until not then but the next time.

"Nobody told me how hard and lonely change is. - Joan Gilbertson

4 Comments:

  • At 6:13 PM, October 02, 2005 , Anonymous EllaBella said...

    You are armed with self-awareness...The only tool you'll need. Rebirth, however magical, it's always traumatic.

    Your essence so think on this blog. I want to grow up to be like you.

    EB

     
  • At 9:37 PM, October 02, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    ELLABELLA: My it's good to see you *wink wink*. I haven't seen you since that time with you, me and G.D. I miss you so. For you not to return my letters was indeed traumatic.
    You can only grow up to be like me through balance. Which is something I know nothing about.
    Hope to see you again. Thanks for posting.

     
  • At 12:41 PM, October 03, 2005 , Blogger Aydreeyin said...

    You'd think that life would get easier the longer you "did" it, but it doesn't.

    See you on the other side.

     
  • At 10:39 PM, October 03, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    AYDREEYIN: I have a feeling that this will be the case for many incarnations to come. Be well, my friend.

     

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