Transitional Fossil

" The question isn't "who is going to let me"; it's "who is going to stop me".
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

Friday, October 24, 2008

Fly Light

I dislike my life being so real sometimes. I enjoy that element of occasional escape, though it has little to do with absconding from responsibility.

It’s still dark out. Twinkling little figures and cars pass by in the blue-black. The mountains begin to grow about 7:13. It’s neat when they reveal themselves after rain. Layer by layer, their majesty rises. Their embattled faces staring back at me.

My mind returns to the chair I’m sitting. Steps which need to be taken to earn the Productive Society Member merit badge are waiting. They are simple steps. Highly repetitive, highly annoying.

Joy comes in spurts. When I’m not really expecting anything, it comes in surprising ways. The wrecking ball also swings the other way. I can remember being really happy about something and an event comes along which I allow to shatter my smile.

There’s so much drama that goes on sometimes. And I want to write about it, but since it’s usually interesting stuff about people I know, I can’t really write about it. And it’s interesting shit too. But it will have to keep for a book where I combine characters that are mildly recognizable to many, and few have inkling that it is truly them.

It’s nice though as time passes things change and remain the same. The identifying elements change with our priorities. For example, the need for approval and validation outside of my self was prevalent throughout my growing up. Finding validation from within is a powerful mechanism and I find that I travel to the outside less and less.


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