Transitional Fossil

" The question isn't "who is going to let me"; it's "who is going to stop me".
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

Monday, November 14, 2005

Anthropormorphizing American Politics

pic pilfered from Steve Colgan

As my scholarly readers know, the big word beginning the title of this entry means to ascribe human attributes to. And since I am referring to politics which involves's not much of a stretch. But can these people, involved in making decisions for the rest of us (mostly poor decisions), be merely characterized as one simple thing?? And what would that be?? Certainly, such a complex process could not be limited to a single example. Except if you are talk about lemmings.

Yes, lemmings.

The cute little creatures who sling themselves to suicide under the theory of an absentee continent (which merely masks their shame at buying Menudo records) are the perfect symbol of our present political leaders.

1) President Bush: This little critter from Texas seems to want to find the highest point from which to fling itself. I suppose that some of his future endeavors will be to blame the economy on teenagers, save social security by offering merciful beheadings, and selecting judges from the Survey-Takers of America (to boost poll ratings).

2) Dick Cheney: This fella seems to be preoccupied chasing his tail and digging some kind of hole before plunging to his death. And if you look close enough he kind of looks like a rodent-face.

3) Donald Rumsfeld: With poor eye site this fella seems to have been picked on mercilessly. He runs around like he's got rabies and truly makes no sense when attempting to explain what he does every day.

4) Pat Robertson: Keeps telling people the end is near and he maybe right, as lemmings have poor eyesight. Is also responsible for the last round of senseless slaughter after telling a furried throng that their deity was over that cliff, beyond the clouds. Though he did mention that since not all the lemmings believed him The Furried One would not save them in case of an earthquake.

5) Katie Couric: Uh...actually she has nothing to dowith politics. I just want to see her run off a cliff.

Now the reason I am writing this is because the more I see the trend of American politicians whose actions are just atrocious, dispicable and dumb. I realize more and more that they just need to finish their nosedive and crash and get it over with.

Lemmings away!!


  • At 10:18 PM, November 14, 2005 , Blogger 1 said...

    I should have known that Pat was going to be dragged into this sooner or later...if he hasn't, we should suggest it...just for the shit and the giggles.

    I like Katie...she is fearless, man! Any woman willing to get a giant tube up-her-ass on national TV, deserves some kind of respect. I'm just sayin'...she made a believer out of me. I can't wait till my colonoscopy.

    Oh...the lemmings. I they are just too fuzzy for association with anything this evil. I like sick genius.

  • At 10:25 PM, November 14, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    G.D.: Feel free to shit and giggle on Pat Robertson all you like. Katie's hobby involving putting things up her ass made me a believer too...that she likes having large poles placed inside her rectum at regular intervals.
    The lemmings are not evvil. They have wide-eye, blank stares. Free of the burdens of intelligence and common sense, these little fuzzies are the epitomy of our elected officials.
    Thanks for watching.

  • At 11:06 PM, November 14, 2005 , Blogger isis said...

    I'll have to agree with g.d. on this. Katie Couric is pretty cool, even if she does literally flirt with every male she interviews. The colon scan, gotta give her some props.

  • At 7:50 AM, November 15, 2005 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    i prefer to stay far far away from american politics and any politics for that matter....vewy scawy!

  • At 10:17 AM, November 15, 2005 , Blogger jonny-no-stars said...

    Actually, I could think of none less human than politicians.


  • At 3:54 PM, November 15, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    ISIS: Props for Katie Couric. NOT ON THIS BLOG!!

    MITZEE: Yea, but i just find it so compelling to see how this much stupidity can be legal.

    J. NO-STAR: Well, make a list. Check it twice...

  • At 9:42 AM, November 16, 2005 , Blogger Jilleyn said...

    Let's fling Disney over the edge too for making us misunderstand lemmings and for Lindsay Lohan's popularity.

  • At 7:04 AM, November 17, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    JILLELYN: I would except he was cremated in 1969. about we tell Lindsy and Aaron Carter that there are recording contracts and movie contracts just over the cliff??

  • At 1:02 PM, November 21, 2005 , Blogger Kathleen Callon said...

    Thanks for the comments, and I'd like to nominate:

    Bill Frist, Grover Norquist, Karl Rove, and Ann Coulter.

  • At 10:06 PM, November 21, 2005 , Blogger Footprint said...

    No problem.Yes, it seems there are but too many to count


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