Transitional Fossil

" The question isn't "who is going to let me"; it's "who is going to stop me".
Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Ride Along.

[pilfered pic]

Note: This is a meditation. I have annotated songs which I was listneing to. They will be placed in italics. Most meditations I do are active. In other words I am moving, running, working da body in some fashion. You are being brought along for the experience, which may help you or meerly serve to entertain. Some songs I listened to entirely, some I skipped the rest of.

Beck: Farewell Ride
Walk with me. Going to Merrit Park towards the Temple of the Two Trees. But today I am not going to the temple, take the path to the left.

Control Machete: Si Senor
The hill goes up at about a 50-degree incline and has rocks along the way. I start climbing and as I do I start hearing the voices of everyone who doubts that I can do it.

The Crystal Method: Born Too Slow
"You need to take it easy, you have Epstein Barr."
"Have you gotten bloodwork done??"
"How much are you making??"
"But you have a college degree??"
"You're living where??"
"I'll do it for you."
"You have asthma. You'll never make it."
"You'll never make it."
"You'll never make it."
"You'll never make it."

Rage Against the Machine: Wake Up
Climbing. Fas, faster.My mind is sweating.I hear thevoices. I see the faces. the faces that I've seen all my life. I climb. I do not stop. I go. Go. Go. My feet dig into the dirt. I grab rocks and try to pull them out of the Earth. The voices continue.
I move on.

Eminem: Lose Yourself
It's starting to get dark. The hill does not seem to be getting smaller. I don't seem to be geting any closer to the top. I let out a defeated laugh and close my eyes as I climb. Still hearing the voices I climb faster and inexplicably begin to cry.
You can't.
You can't.
You can't.
The words fly before my eyes.
I cry more. I start to ask myself why I can't do. I tell myself I can do. I keep telling myself that. Still crying through the darkness I keep going.
The song ends and I want it to keep going because I think it's the only way I can push through this. The silence continues.
I open my eyes to realize that I am on the tredmill and the candle in front of me is flickering. I realize that I have finally arrived at that place, that barrier which keeps me afraid of myself and makes me doubt. I have torn through the plasterboard and made a break in the brick. The light is winking at me.

The checkered floor of King Solomon's temple is emblematical of human life. Checkered with good and evil.
Exit with either:

Antonio Carlos Jobim: The Girl From Ipanema
Tool: Imagine


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